Birthday Letter to A




Dear A,

First of all, let me tell you that I miss you so much. Life has been good to me so far. I went home this spring break after 1,5 year living abroad. I finally slept on my bed again and guess what? Mama put your favorite duvet on my bed that I couldn't get your smell off, and I think I will never.

A,
I'm wondering how you would spend your birthday. I'm wondering you would get many surprises from your friends, your girlfriend and how you would reply those birthday greetings super-nicely. Well you taught me how to be nice to all people, even to those we've just met. You're a super nice-friendly guy and I'm your stubborn-bossy sister.

Anyway,
I think God gave his best shot when he made you and me. We were always together, every time, in every fight, that I HAD to be the winner, not because I was always right but because I was too bossy I didn't want to lose and you were a gentle little man.

To remind you, here are the things I will never forget about you, about us:

1. Remember when we had a big fight when mama and papa weren't at home? We fought for a toy and I ended up punching you on the cheek defending myself over the damn toy. You cried and I knew it was painful. But when mama came home and asked you, you said it was because you hit the door accidentally and until now I guess mama doesn't know it was totally my fault. I know, I was evil.

2. I don't know why you loved monkey so much. When we were kids, I used to be your "monkey" to cheer you up whenever you cried which is now I think it was miserable (yes, your sister being a monkey).

3. We loved karaoke! We loved pretending to be superstars with our "microphone" which was actually just a baby powder bottle.

4. Then there was this time when I was a teenager starting to love boybands and you were still a small kid. I put away our children-songs cassettes and dominated the music player that made you mad at me. Then papa bought me a walkman so I can listen to Backstreet Boys and Westlife. I know, cheesy.

5. For one phase in life, I realized that you started to grow to be a good-looking boy. You're way taller than me and seriously I don't understand why you had that long-beautiful eyelashes that made your eyes even more wonderful. And if you were still here, I think I would be your super-rude judge to choose who deserves to be your girlfriend (believe me, I know girls' stuffs).

And now we've been apart for 2,5 years. You know I was so scared at first, many questions came across as it was my first big loss. I thought I would never survive without you, living the life alone. But then I learned that everyone of us will eventually lose something precious to us and that's just about time. I survived and everything is going well here.

I've been living in Germany for almost 2 years now. I traveled a lot to more than 20 countries, checking off my bucket list (and I still have many), I got paid internship this year which was more than enough for my savings, I got a recommendation and this turns out to be my next stop after graduation. I'm almost at the end of my master's program and will hopefully get my master's degree by the beginning of next year. Well of course there were difficult times I had to deal with but that's how life works, right?

Finally, happy birthday to you, my other half, my first boyfriend. May your day be filled with joy and happiness there. You're still, and forever will be my source of happiness, my reason to do everything that will make you proud of me.


Happy birthday, Aldo.
I love you.


Your sister.



P.S. 
I know your birthday is on 30th but as I won't be around on that day, I decided to write this letter now. How long does it take for this letter to be delivered to heaven?


Menjadi Indonesia

This picture was taken 5 years ago in Meru Betiri National Park, East Java, one of the beautiful places I've ever been to.


Yesterday turned out to be the day I've seen so many good posts and optimism on Indonesia. The day filled with the pride of being Indonesian, our flag everywhere, our undeniable natural beauty, and so on. It was overwhelming that suddenly I miss Indonesia and everything related to it.

Happy Independence Day, Indonesia! I'll be back, we'll be back. I'll do something, we'll do something.




Bandung & Efek Rumah Kaca



Jadi, saya baru dikasih tahu temen bahwa ERK akan bikin konser di Bandung bulan September nanti dan lagi-lagi cuma bisa gigit jari karena pastinya saya ga akan ada disitu.

Bicara tentang ERK, rasanya kembali lagi ke jaman-jaman kuliah S1 dulu. Bandung membuat saya menaruh hati pada beberapa musik dan band indie yang kalo sekarang saya dengerin lagi, rasanya seperti kembali ke kamar kosan saya di Tubagus Ismail dan Cisitu dulu, lengkap bersama kaos band, jeans, dan sendal jepit ando. Saya termasuk penggemar ERK yang mendengarkan lagu-lagu mereka dari album pertama, bahkan hingga Pandai Besi terbentuk. Saya masih ingat album Daur Baur dirilis hanya beberapa saat sebelum saya berangkat ke Jerman tahun 2013 dan yang pastinya mengobati kerinduan pada ERK yang tak kunjung mengeluarkan album baru pada saat itu. Bersama dua orang teman baik saya yang sama-sama penggemar berat Mas Cholil cs, rasanya kami ga pernah melewatkan setiap kesempatan kalau ERK main di kampus ITB dan rasanya Jatuh Cinta Itu Biasa Saja dan Cinta Melulu selalu mengisi hari-hari jaman kuliah tingkat awal dulu :"

Tanggal 10 Juli kemarin pun jadi hari yang menyenangkan, kami sesama penggemar ERK saling memberi info bahwa lagu baru mereka sudah bisa dinikmati dan saya seperti jatuh cinta lagi pada mantan yang udah lama ga ketemu (#eh, gimana?). Pasar Bisa Diciptakan menurut saya lebih 'berwarna', 'kaya', dan 'matang' dibanding lagu-lagu mereka sebelumnya. Well, saya bukan ahli musik sih, tapi sebagai orang yang sudah mendengarkan mereka dari album pertama, overall saya jatuh cinta pada album baru mereka ini.

Saya masih mendengarkan ERK sampai sekarang dan sudah delapan tahun. ERK menemani masa-masa kuliah saya dulu, masa-masa kembali ke Jakarta untuk bekerja dan site visit ke Kalimantan, sampai akhirnya ke Jerman untuk melanjutkan sekolah. Bahkan, saya ingat lagu-lagu ERK pun menemani perjalanan saya di Skandinavia tahun lalu. Tapi yang pasti, ERK selalu mengingatkan saya akan Bandung.

Lucu ya, bagaimana sebuah band atau lagu bisa membawa kita kembali ke masa lalu dan ERK selalu berhasil membuat saya mengingat Bandung, kota yang hanya saya tinggali selama 4 tahun, bukan kota asal orang tua saya, bukan juga kota tempat saya dilahirkan, tapi mampu membuat rindu lebih dari tempat manapun. Mampu untuk membuat saya ingin kembali dan menetap di sana lagi suatu hari nanti.



"Tetapi Bandung tetap saja Bandung, bagiku bukan cuma masalah geografis, lebih dari itu melibatkan perasaan."

August: Life Updates

I received a facebook message yesterday from a friend whom I met in Oslo last year, she asked me whether I'll be available or not in August as she has made plan to visit Munich. That's actually the time when I realized that August was just few hours away.

And now it's August already. 
I remember last year, around this time, I was in the Netherlands visiting my bestfriend while she was struggling with her master's thesis. Two days later, I received an internship offer from E.ON and the rest of the story was, of course, full of preparation as I had to move in to the new city, to start my role in the company and even to travel to some places for training.

And now, it's nearly the end of my master's program. Well, I still have classes in the next semester to compensate my semester leave that I took to do my internship in Essen (Yes, I lost one semester, but really, I'll never regret my decision :p) and last but not least, there's a master's thesis I have to finish by the beginning of next year, so here it comes the most crucial slash sleepless nights slash mental breakdown period. Fyi, the focus of my thesis would be the sustainability and energy scenario, I don't have the title yet at the moment. It's kinda cross-disciplinary work in which I have to be knowledgeable enough in resource economics. The proposal to the chair in business management is still on its way so wish me luck!

Ben & Jerry's keeps my thesis time sane

Well, surprisingly I've been receiving some shocking news this whole summer; bestfriend's breakup, choice to calling off the half-prepared wedding, and a sudden departure to go back home for good, plus two of my good friends are going back to their home countries in September that I don't have idea when we're gonna meet again. It's funny how you create such an emotional attachment with the place and the people inside can sadly affect you when they're leaving, make you feel that life is no more than just a series of hellos and goodbyes. One thing for sure, I will be forever grateful to have such beautiful minded people God had sent to me during my time here and my heart will be forever with them wherever they are.

Of course there are also some exciting news; two friends of mine got the new jobs, my family and some friends will be visiting me here in autumn, a blogging and traveling-related project (yes!), Star Wars is coming soon as a Christmas present (haha), my cousin is getting married and her soon-to-be  husband asked me to write a story about her (turns out both of them are my silent reader), and of course, some personal excitement :)

Last Lebaran with the Snail in the Netherlands. I know, doesn't look like Lebaran at all

Good friends and a summer well spent


In the name of academic reason, I have to hold my wanderlust back for a while and focus on the mighty master's thesis but for sure I have some plans in mind where to spend my last mega-holiday to end my master's journey here before starting a new chapter of life. Let's see.

And I guess more happy things are waiting for me back home, no?



F