A Woman in a Man's World

Some people think when a woman working in a male-dominated environment, then she would turn to be boyish, or let'say, a bit manly. Or the opposite, the case with a man who works in the female-dominated environment.

Not completely wrong, but also not entirely true.

I have an educational background which was dominated by women. Contrast with my life before, now I am working in a place where women are minority. Not many women of my major choose to work as field workers, most of them working in the lab or settled in the office.

I do not agree that the work will always change a person. How we are able to process what has affected us that matters. Woman will remain a woman, and man will always be a man. Working in a place dominated by the opposite sex is definitely going to affect us in many aspects; our way of thinking, decision-making, to the daily language and jokes. But the problem is how we can still be ourselves.

Women working in a man's world is not necessarily going to be manly and vice versa, a man who works in the women's world would not necessarily be feminine. In my job, I keep doing the same things with men; working in the field, carrying equipment, keep waking up at 3 in the morning or come home at 11 pm. Sometimes I also have to throw away the awkward feeling when I have to be in the field whole day or meeting with colleagues who are all men. No more and no less.

The pattern of thinking is certainly affected, as well as the rhythm of work. But behind it all, I'm trying to confirm my presence, give a small touch as a female field worker. Not trying to dominate, but to give meaning. If one asking me why I wanted to work in this world, I will probably answer: I do not want to stuck with one mindset all my life, but I also do not want to lose who I am.

Believe me, I still spend a lot of time shopping and hanging out with my girlfriends. At times like that I feel my life balanced.

The core of the issue is how we are able to position ourselves as who we are, give more colors to a monotone world, enrich the flavor without trying to be the most powerful taste. Like a bowl of soup, rich in flavor. But when one flavor is removed, the overall taste will change, no longer as good as it used to be, and people will feel lost. Where is that flavor?
 
I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it. -Marilyn Monroe-
 

Leave it, in Airport


Because everyone has their own stories and memories, left in Airport.

(Bangkok, 2011)

Later

Hey, you.

You know I'm writing this while doing my report. You know I'm not good at writing such beautiful lines and words.

But it was nothing until I found myself trying to write this.

You know I've always had a crush with this earth
You know I've always had a crush with the beautiful stones you ever told me, Rainbow Obsidian, or the Snowflake one.
You know I'm a bit nervous to have my first experience working on a site and you said, "Hey you, the coal girl!" pretty nice, I think.

You know the place that I've been dreaming of

You know the place where I want to find myself waking up under the sunrise, and falling asleep under the moonlight
You know the place where I want to find myself riding a bicycle or talking to my son: "Hey, it's snowing, put your jacket on and play outside."
You know the place where I want to spend the rest of my life, put the rest of my heart until my time runs out.

And you know, I long, as does every woman, to find her home, to be at her home wherever she finds herself

.....................

and to feel the warmth at the end of your shoulder, you my home

but I decided to stay outside
I'll come back home later
___ ___