A Year After

August 5 marks a year after I left Germany for good. I'm writing this just 4 weeks before that day and only 4 days before I leave for Japan.

I didn't write a lot like I used to do when I was still living in Europe. The reason was too obvious, I didn't have time to do so. Like many other Jakartans, at this productive age, I've been dealing with works and more works, going from one meeting to another, hanging out from bar to bar, and of course surviving from the harsh circumstances of everyday life in the big bad capital.

Have I ever thought of going back to Europe? Of course, yes. 
I still remember every corner of Munich, the trains and buses, the parks, the places I loved to go, the language I used to speak, my home and its huge kitchen, they are still clear in my mind. Leaving Germany was one of the hardest things I have ever done, for sure.

A year ago, I was heartbroken. I lost someone and I thought moving back to Indonesia would be a nightmare. The thought of going back to Germany haunted me for weeks. I was struggling to adjust myself back to the city, even speaking in my mother tongue was difficult at first.

But then, what I recognized as soon as I stepped out of that chapter in my life is that's exactly how life works. That chapter in my life was already closed. I have achieved what I wanted to achieve. The process was a bit chaotic but the journey was too sweet to remember.

The sadness and loss were the signs that it's the time to move on and moving on means I'm progressing, as human, as a living thing.

Now a year later, of course I have moved on.

Workload and travels replaced those transitional feelings. New connections and circles filled the void in my heart that first I can't seem to fill. Families and best friends made me realized that I'm home, at last.

I'm home,
but I will never stop flying.
I will never stop remembering that sweet chapter in my life.

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