I landed my first job after graduation when I was 22. At
that point in my life, I felt old. I couldn’t believe that my responsibilities
as environmental engineer was that huge, I was nervous to deal with people my parents’
age, I was shaking the first time I delivered my presentation in front of the
directors, I wasn’t confident enough to lead the site visit in East Borneo.
Yes, I was grateful for being financially independent at such young age but I
was too scared to really accept the fact that I had to lose my youth and the
fact that I was seeing my bestfriends less and less.
I went to Germany and started off my master’s program when I was 24. I
felt like I got the best version of myself back; being in a very diverse
environment, going out with crazy people, fulfilling my wanderlust, getting a
cool internship, attending conferences and training, falling in love again
after a worst break up, while of course, living my dream.
And now I’m just weeks away from the “real life” after my
postgrad. Many things happened, the ups and downs, and I started to overthink
how my “second real life” will be like. Would it be cooler than the one I had
before? Or would I love it any less?
As time went on, I was getting wiser. I was at the point
where I realized that those are the chapters of my life that I need to move on.
Things started to slowly change, but what has been destined for me, will always stay. I
started to think that adulthood is one cool phase in life. Yes, the
responsibilities are nuts, bills are growing yet you are saving the money for
your children later, but who would've thought that you could fly from
continent to continent, you could get your own things, or as simple as the feeling of getting your dream accomplished one by one? (does it sound more like alpha-female things?)
As I turned 27 today, I am not going to sugar-coat anything
in life, not even blabbering about the silver lining in every cloud. Life’s
dull sometimes and it has nothing to do with whatever the hell you've
accomplished or whoever you’re with at the moment. Life could be less exciting
sometimes and that’s okay.
Life hits you but you just have to remain graceful.
And I need to redefine what youth means. If it means going
out and geeking out with cool people, traveling more miles, listening to indie
bands, having coffee at hipster place or fangirling over a character on your
favorite book or movie, then I’m absolutely still on it. It’s just the same,
only the difference is that I’m better at prioritizing things.
I had a blast today, as always. While women my age would get branded bags or makeups on her birthday, I got a set of board game, monopoly Star Wars edition, and all Star Wars themed stuffs on my 27th. Growing up isn't as awful as it seems.
And I can't thank you enough for the warm wishes (the fact that there are so many things I want to get this year :p)
But all in all, my wish is nothing except that I’m living the life as it is.
The birthday girl says thank you for the wishes!
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