*

2015

So, 2016 is just around the corner.

Frankly, this year has been tough, at least compared to last year. I kind of enjoyed 2014 as my new life began to start, I got my internship in a very reputable company that I had been dreaming of, got chances to fulfill my wanderlust, got my bucket list crossed off, grades were satisfying, made new good friends. Life was just easy, at that time.

I went through a major heartbreak this year that I never thought it would be this painful. A heartbreak which left me unstable, powerless enough to get myself back on the track. But yes I know, people would say a heartbreak is a part of life we all have experienced, or will experience. I know, I truly know as it's not my first time and being optimistic as what instagram-worthy phrases say is so cliche. Truth is, I'm quite afraid of emotional closeness because I know once I'm into it, I'd throw myself wholeheartedly that would, somehow, backfire on me and that's what happened. My mornings were blurry and breathing was hard, but I knew I was just going to be fine.

At the same time, someone from the past came back into my life and I came into conclusion that I'm not ready to be close to or to be with someone again, at least, for now. Well, I know everything happens for a reason and let the reason speaks out later. Let me know later that it was all worth it.

Enough for the cheesy peasy. At last, I'm getting used to listen to my Ólafur Arnalds' playlists again.

I finished my internship at E.ON successfully and later this year got invited to a professional training (got a sweet bouquet from the team on my last day!:') and went back home to Indonesia a week after. I spent 1,5 month at home, felt unreal yet I couldn't hide my happiness seeing everyone I had been missing for a long time.

In June, I finally did my solo travel again to Croatia and blessed to have found a stranger who became a good friend (we're still exchanging messages up until now, even though she's back in the US)

And finally, I'm getting closer to graduation. I'm working on my master's thesis and grateful to be involved in such a big European Union project from my department.

People come and go, but I know my comfort circles stay forever.

Long story short, this might not be my favorite year but there I learned one thing: to keep those who are worth fighting for and to let go those who aren't worth keeping around.

Yet, I'm excited to see where life's gonna take me after this. Going back home for good sounds like a plan, but my heart says I still have to wander somewhere else,

to find and to be found.

Winter in Bratislava

I think one of the good things about writing your thesis (in such a gloomy unpredictable weather where you can't play much outside) is that you have more time to do things you haven't done. While re-arranging folders on my laptop, I stumbled upon my Eastern Europe trip folder and realized there are many pictures I should've shared almost a year ago.

I did a day trip to Bratislava from Vienna during my Christmas break last year and fell in love with the city. So here are the pictures in BW!

Dear Hagia,

Greetings from here,

I've been wondering if you were named after Ayasofya, well, I have not been there but my Dad told me it was one of the most beautiful places he has ever been to.

Hagia,

I was raised in a democratic Moslem family in which I've never been taught to judge others. I've never been taught to hurt, even only with the words. I truly believe that my religion teaches beautiful things, and so does other religion. I had never been into a very diverse culture until I left my country and be the minority that I learned much more love than hatred. That I learned majority is not always right, and vice versa.

But I know, the problem is because not everyone in this supposed to be peaceful world can make peace with situations, even with themselves. They twisted what 'fighting' means at its utmost failure and how ironic they thought they were right. We need to accept, we need to accept the change just like when Ayasofya was converted into a mosque when Constantinople was conquered by the Ottoman Turks. It turns out to be one of the most beautiful things ever happened with the two cultures.

Hagia,

Isn't it that simple? To love others, to respect what they believe is right for them and what we believe is right for us?

Sempurna yang kau puja dan ayat-ayat yang kau baca,

Tak kurasa berbeda, kita bebas untuk percaya *

Love from here,

P.S. I love your name

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Inspired by Hagia, a beautiful song from Barasuara.

Pardon Me, Aira

Because I've been away and wasn't able to catch you, because I saw your letter from Alhambra a year ago but never managed to reply, because I loved you but you know some things are better to be left behind, because I know you were there but I wasn't.

Because I found my love here.

and I hope you will.

and I owe you an apology.

Regards from Oslo

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------