A Year After

August 5 marks a year after I left Germany for good. I'm writing this just 4 weeks before that day and only 4 days before I leave for Japan.

I didn't write a lot like I used to do when I was still living in Europe. The reason was too obvious, I didn't have time to do so. Like many other Jakartans, at this productive age, I've been dealing with works and more works, going from one meeting to another, hanging out from bar to bar, and of course surviving from the harsh circumstances of everyday life in the big bad capital.

Have I ever thought of going back to Europe? Of course, yes. 

I still remember every corner of Munich, the trains and buses, the parks, the places I loved to go, the language I used to speak, my home and its huge kitchen, they are still clear in my mind. Leaving Germany was one of the hardest things I have ever done, for sure.

A year ago, I was heartbroken. I lost someone and I thought moving back to Indonesia would be a nightmare. The thought of going back to Germany haunted me for weeks. I was struggling to adjust myself back to the city, even speaking in my mother tongue was difficult at first.

But then, what I recognized as soon as I stepped out of that chapter in my life is that's exactly how life works. That chapter in my life was already closed. I have achieved what I wanted to achieve. The process was a bit chaotic but the journey was too sweet to remember.

The sadness and loss were the signs that it's the time to move on and moving on means I'm progressing, as human, as a living thing.

Now a year later, of course I have moved on.

Workload and travels replaced those transitional feelings. New connections and circles filled the void in my heart that first I can't seem to fill. Families and best friends made me realized that I'm home, at last.

I'm home,

but I will never stop flying.

I will never stop remembering that sweet chapter in my life.

#Travel: Paris is Just Paris

I have to say the only things I love about French-related are their tempting pâtisserie and The Little Prince, a poetic tale written by the French, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. I had never been to neither Paris or France until I decided to go there last week. 

Yes, I have been living in Europe for 2,5 years now yet I was more interested to visit Scandinavia or Eastern Europe during my spare time. I have heard some girls who dreamed of kissing her partner under the Eiffel Tower. It sounds cute but I just don't understand why. In short, I just don't understand what makes Paris the most romantic city in the world.

Back in April, I got accepted to attend a conference in Paris but thanks to my chaotic master's thesis submission, I failed to meet the deadline of completing the documents needed to officially become a participant. So, I canceled all my plans and forgot it for a while. But then, when I was planning for the late-spring holiday to Spain, I said, why not give Paris a try? 

So we made a detour to Paris.

We started the romance of wandering down artsy streets where the fashion boutiques and cafés pile up. With just a quick look to those touristy attractions like Arc de Triomphe, Louvre, and Champs-Élysées, we continued to walk to Notre-Dame. The medieval cathedral was unquestionably beautiful, but right in the shadow of the cathedral, there sits a quirky English-bookshop which any bookworms will be almost certain to spend time turning the pages. It was more than happy for us to spend some time under those crooked bookshelves and take some of the books home. We continued to walk down the streets, after. Eiffel and Montmartre were our next destinations.

I enjoyed every single attraction in Paris, even the most touristy ones. But for me, the most beautiful thing I treasured was the moment to walk down slowly, to sit somewhere nice, and to have that deep conversation with the right one.

and I think what makes Paris is Paris itself.

Insincere smile.

#Travel: Catalonia, Barcelona, and Everything in Between

Just few minutes before landing on El Prat International Airport, we flew over the coastline of Barcelona and immediately I said, "Now I know how love at the first sight feels like."

I'm in love with Barcelona, with Catalonia, with Spain.
I'm in love with their warmth and breeze.
I'm in love with the the people I love, with the ones who stay.
I guess, I'm just in love all over again. 

En route to Catalonia

I remember you sent me a postcard from Montserrat almost a year and half ago. I didn't manage to reply, I never had a time to visit Spain, although I really wanted to. 

But I was thinking about you while I was in Bratislava last year, about the what ifs, about the possibilities.

Life never ceases to surprise me. At least that's what I learned after those sleepless nights.

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Bought the tickets to Barcelona, finally.

I'll see your smile in La Rambla next week, take me to the Carretera de les Aigües.

And we will be watching the sunset in Montserrat.

Love,

F

My Master's Journey in Germany

So I haven't talked much about my master's thesis that has taken me approx. 7,5 months to finish. It was quite overdue, due to several shortcomings happened along the way. Well, might say it was probably normal compared to my bachelor's research which took 10 months to complete (but it turns out to be my first publication, thanks Ibu Endah :')). I think if I were asked what would be the most important thing in taking higher education, I wouldn't say it's a hard work that play a major role but I'd rather say it's a persistence that keeps me going.

Let's put aside any motivational phrases here, for we want to be more realistic. We all live in different circumstances in which no one knows what will happen. So generalizing that everyone will experience the same things would be invalid (and putting Instagram-worthy phrases will be then, lame). That's why I said the most important thing is to be persistent. Persistent to achieve the goals you've set before in whatever condition. That's it.

Since I'm majoring in resource management, my master's thesis was more about (drum rolls) economic analysis. For someone whose previous educational background is focused on natural science, I found myself quite inferior in the field. Yes, I have several professional experiences in resource management, but it couldn't stop me from feeling dumb if I had to argue with my team (supervisor and colleagues) - most of whom had resource economics background.

The fact that I had to take one extra semester to compensate my 6-months leave that I took to do my internship last year, has become a little pressure. Apparently, taking the remaining courses, doing the master's thesis, and going through a process for a job position at the same time was more challenging than ever. Not to exclude a personal-emotional matter happened some time ago. But again I'd say it's persistence that keeps me progressing, even at slower pace, at some points.

I can still recall my first weeks being a master's student, having an "after-class session" at Schneiders, fixing my poor German, and drooling over Indonesian foods I missed the most. I can still recall the day I left Bayern to do my six-months internship in Nordrhein-Westfalen. I can still recall the day I got a bouquet from my team in Essen on my last day with tears flowing on my cheeks, because I am forever in their debt. And I can still recall the days I had to begin my research project with a broken feeling.

Long story short, it was a tiring, remarkable journey. I will definitely devote this to those being my support system during these ups and downs. The time I can finally feel that distance doesn't matter, if the people you love are just one call away. Also the best people I found here in Germany that I wouldn't trade them for anything.

I once said that resigning from my previous job in Indonesia and pursuing one of my life goals outside my country is one of the best decisions that I will never regret in my life, regardless of twists and turns. The knowledge, the precious experiences, the pride, the bitterness that I will pass on to no one but my children. 

I would definitely say yes to anyone asking for my opinion whether or not they have to go. Of course, at their own risk. Of course, without exaggerating that living/studying/working abroad will be always lovely. 

Because in the end,

It was all worth it.

Because the dream is finally yours.

Love,


F